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Who's Afraid Of The Bald Dread Wolf? [Closed]

Varric Tethras

Bullshitter Emeritus
Canon Character
Post DAI Timeline
DAO/DA2 Timeline
((Bloomingtide 13, 9:44, The Winter Palace; Sati Adaar ))

Being a Viscount had its perks. Not near enough to make up for the headaches, mind you, but it did mean that none of the dignitaries buzzing around while the healers were looking Lucky over tried to shoo him off, and it meant that he was in line to visit right behind Ruffles, the Seeker, Nightingale and Curly. He might have tried to cut in line on the rest of the Inquisition’s inner circle, but no way was he getting in between Josie and Sati until the ambassador had seen for herself that the Inquisitor was all right.

Apart from missing an arm, anyway.

He sauntered in the door, keeping it casual. She’d likely had more than her fill of people freaking out; the Maker knew he had. Not that Qunari invasions and an ancient Elven god running amok and planning to end the world was exactly the type of thing to incite calm, but running around screaming, “Oh, shit! We’re all gonna die!” didn’t do much for anyone.

“So … that was different,” he ventured, looking her over. “Looks like I’ll be writing a sequel already.” 'Tales of The Inquisition’s Agents' had been published as a serial and done quite well, but 'All This Shit Is Weird' was well on its way to eclipsing every other book he’d written only two months out of the gate. “Gonna be hard to find a better title, though. Maybe, ‘I Swear I’m Not Making This Shit Up’?”

He offered her a little grin, but it faded. “How are you doing?” Not physically … Lucky was as tough as they came on that front, but none of them had seen this coming. Sure, Solas had been strange from the get-go, but to find out that he had been the one to let Corypheus get his hands on the orb … That had been bad enough, but from what Varric had been able to get from Sati after she had stumbled back through that last Eluvian, this Ages-old fuckup was planning to correct his chain of fuckups by fucking up the current world. Because everything else he’d done to this point had gone so swimmingly, right?

“You about ready to bust out of here, or should I get the Iron Lady to arrange another spa day?” Seeing Sati and Vivienne lounging around with cheese on their eyes had been amusing enough that Varric had snagged an artist to do a sketch that he was holding in reserve. He wondered if now might be the time to trot it out, because if anyone looked like they could use a light moment right now, it was Lucky.